The Art of Butt Whispering
JUNE 4-7, 2026
Montréal, Québec
Butt Whispering means inviting your own ass or someone else’s ass to play. The invitation is everything, because if we get the invitation right, it guarantees us that whatever follows will go better. Play will go better. Touch will feel better.
What guys are saying
“I learned what it means to slow down, relax, and open up -- all before we even got to talking about butts! A very surprisingly spiritual and serendipitous séance. Filed high up there in the 'lifechanging experiences' category.”
— Roger T.“You could hardly do better than studying with David Dunn Bauer when learning about your butt. When I attended the Butt Whispering Retreat in Ontario 2025, I could tell he was passionate and knowledgeable about the subject matter. He truly cared about his students and made sure we all had a comfortable time! If you have the chance to learn from the Butt Whisperer, do it.”
— Zack T.“The Butt Whisperer retreat gave me the permission and the confidence to explore my butt with no fear of judgment from others. It was wonderful to be with other like-minded guys who were open and eager to discuss topics like douching, toys, positions, spanking and rimming. The gay community acts as if we all should inherently know all about this, but a lot of us don’t. I highly recommend the retreat and I would love to do it again!”
— Michael S.What is the Art of Butt Whispering?
The Art of Butt Whispering lets us derive more joy and pleasure from every kind of butt play there is. Whether you and your partners want tender caresses or to get fucked to Mars on a voyage of feral abandon, Butt Whispering is a reliable way of readying your or someone else’s ass for play by reinforcing trust and awareness.
Your ass is a power source for your whole body and your entire life. We often shortchange ourselves on the pleasure and the transformative energy to be had through butt play. Instead, we rush to replay old scenes or dynamics that have lost their novelty and magic.
The challenges to either “topping” or “bottoming” are in our minds, not our puckers. Too often we accept only one of these words: “top, bottom, or verse,” and that word becomes our identity and our answer to every question. Honestly, even “verse” limits us.
Most guys do know their ass from their elbow, but most of us don’t know our own butts anywhere as well as we could. All butts are located in the same anatomical area, but each butt is built uniquely.
The Art of Butt Whispering teaches each man how to map the structure of his own ass and how to navigate the unique and marvellous terrain of someone else’s.
We as men who have sex with men should be able to ask these questions of our partners and be ready to answer them when they ask us.
The Art of Butt Whispering is a comprehensive approach comprising techniques and principles that work for any style of butt play from the tender to the tempestuous. It addresses:
patterns of communication, methods of touching another man’s anus or prostate, instructions on how to clean out and when it is adequate just to clean off;
different kinds of lube, different positions for rimming, and the essential importance of foreplay and aftercare;
role-play and power dynamics and provides meaningful guidance for men in giving, receiving, and exchanging touch;
the experience of men who are already comfortable with butt play, and that of guys who are anxious about possible pain or awkwardness;
the importance – when you are bottoming – of clarifying your boundaries and expressing your desire for touch that is pleasurable to you;
the importance – when you’re topping – of creating a bond of trust with your partners, maximizing safety and pleasure for them and for you; and
the astonishing ways in which safety leads to pleasure, pleasure leads to ecstasy, and the ecstatic moment blends physical sensation with spiritual revelation.
The Art of Butt Whispering is a comprehensive approach comprising techniques and principles that work for any style of butt play from the tender to the tempestuous. It can enrich the experience for men who are already comfortable with butt play, and it can orient guys who are anxious about possible pain or awkwardness. It presents everyone with a possibility of sacred surprise.
